Gratitude When It’s Hard

Finding Light in difficult times

A monthly community newsletter: The Altar Within —notes on life, magic, and liberation. (Exclusive offering for paid subscribers: learn more here)

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Gratitude. It’s a word that gets thrown around so much this time of year that it can start to feel hollow. Everyone tells us to “be grateful,” as though it’s something we can conjure up on demand. But what happens when gratitude feels out of reach? What if this week feels more heavy than light, more lonely than warm?

If you’re in that place, I want you to know that I see you. I’ve been there, too. But I’ve learned that gratitude isn’t about forcing yourself to feel thankful when your heart is aching. It’s about leaning into what is—even if what is feels messy or imperfect.

Sometimes gratitude is as small as noticing the way sunlight filters through a window. It’s the comfort of a warm drink in your hands or the sound of laughter, even if it’s just from a stranger passing by.

Gratitude can be reluctant, quiet, or even bittersweet. It doesn’t mean ignoring your pain or pretending everything is okay. It means saying, “Even though things are hard, I can still hold space for this one small thing.”

Writing Your Way Toward Gratitude

Writing has always been a way for me to process the complicated layers of my emotions. When gratitude feels distant, writing helps me reach for it, not as something I’m supposed to feel, but as something I can gently uncover.

Here are a few restorative writing prompts to help you explore gratitude this week:

1. The Small Things
• Write about three small things that made today a little easier or brighter. Maybe it’s the kindness of someone holding the door for you, the smell of something familiar, or the first sip of coffee in the morning.

2. Gratitude for Resilience
• Think of a time when you overcame something difficult. What helped you get through it? Write about the strength, courage, or support that carried you in that moment.

3. The People Who Hold You
• Who in your life has made you feel seen, safe, or loved? Write them a letter (even if you don’t send it), thanking them for what they’ve given you.

4. Gratitude for Yourself
• What is one thing about you that you’re grateful for? It could be your ability to persevere, your creativity, or the way you care for others.

5. The Unexpected Gifts
• Sometimes, life gives us gifts in disguise. Write about a moment or experience that didn’t seem positive at first but ended up teaching you something valuable.

Gratitude as a Radical Act

Choosing gratitude can be an act of defiance. It’s a way of reclaiming joy and connection, even when life feels overwhelming. It’s saying, “I refuse to let the weight of this world make me forget that there is still beauty here.”

This doesn’t mean ignoring the struggles we face. It means holding both—the hard and the beautiful side by side.

This week, as I move through my own busy schedule of cooking for shelters, preparing food for a community event, and hosting my family’s gathering, I’m reminding myself of the medicine of gratitude. There’s so much to do, but I’m making space to pause. To notice. To breathe.

Gratitude shows up for me in the quiet moments: the rhythm of chopping vegetables, the way my kitchen smells like spices and warm herbs, the fluffy paws of my cats tugging at my pants for some cuddles, the whispers of my Ancestors bellowing in the steam of the pots, and the sound of my family laughing in the next room. And even when I feel tired or overwhelmed, I remind myself that this—this messy, imperfect life—is worth being grateful for.

I hope you’ll take a moment this week to pause, too. Not to force gratitude, but to let it find you in the little things. In the warmth of your breath. In the stillness of the moment. In the ways you are loved, even when you don’t always feel it.

A Practice to Try This Week

Here’s a gentle practice for finding gratitude, even when it feels hard:
• At the start of your day, take a deep breath and write down one thing you’re curious about or looking forward to.
• At the end of the day, reflect on a moment that brought you comfort, connection, or even just a sense of relief.

These don’t have to be big things. They can be as simple as “The way the sunlight hit the table” or “The sound of my cat purring.” Over time, these small moments of noticing can add up to something bigger, a sense of groundedness, even in the chaos.

Gratitude isn’t always easy. But it’s there, waiting to be uncovered in the small, quiet places we often overlook. This week, I hope you’ll give yourself permission to find gratitude in your own way. Let it be as big or as small, as loud or as quiet, as joyful or as tender as it needs to be.

What does gratitude feel like for you this week? I’d love to hear from you. Let’s start a conversation.

With love,
Juliet

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