A monthly community newsletter: The Altar Within —notes on life, magic, and liberation. (Exclusive offering for paid subscribers: learn more here)
note: This post is not about removing physical masks worn for protection against illness, such as COVID-19. While that may seem obvious, I did receive a message from someone concerned it might be interpreted that way, so I wanted to clarify from the start.
So many of us carry masks crafted from years of survival, shaped by fear, and worn to fit into spaces that were never meant for us. These masks—the ones we mold out of necessity, the ones we wear to navigate a world that may not see us or value us as we are, can feel like protection. But as James Baldwin reminds us, “Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”
What Baldwin offers is a profound truth about love’s potential to liberate. Love that is rooted in truth does not ask us to perform. It does not demand that we mold ourselves into a version that fits someone else’s expectations. Real love asks us to remove the armor, to reveal the self we’ve hidden, and to trust that we will be held - not for who we pretend to be, but for who we truly are.
These masks often begin as survival tools, but over time, they can suffocate the parts of us that most need to breathe. They keep us from showing up fully in our relationships, our work, and even our dreams.
Real love, be it self-love, romantic love, platonic love, or community love—has a way of disarming us. It invites us to set down the masks and step into the fullness of our truth. This is the kind of love that liberates. It’s not comfortable, but it’s necessary.
Love, when it is honest and compassionate, asks us to reveal what we’ve hidden, even from ourselves. It challenges us to embrace the parts we’ve deemed unworthy or unlovable. Baldwin’s words remind us that liberation begins here: when we stop pretending and allow the truth of who we are to be held—gently, without judgment.
Living Unmasked
What would it mean to live unmasked? To approach love as an act of courage rather than performance? Living unmasked does not mean abandoning all boundaries or vulnerability. Instead, it means finding the spaces and people where you can show up as your most authentic self. It means creating relationships both with yourself and others where you feel safe to be seen, as you are.
Living unmasked might look like:
• Honoring Your Truth: Saying what you mean, even when it feels difficult.
• Creating Safe Spaces: Surrounding yourself with people who honor your authenticity and allow you to do the same for them.
• Letting Go of Shame: Recognizing that the parts of you you’ve hidden out of fear or judgment are worthy of love and acceptance.
• Practicing Self-Compassion: Offering yourself the same gentleness and care you would extend to a loved one.
How to Begin the Unmasking
If the thought of removing your mask feels overwhelming, remember that unmasking is a process, not a single moment. Here are some steps to begin:
1. Acknowledge the Mask
• Reflect on the mask you wear most often. Is it the mask of composure? The mask of confidence? The mask of perfection?
• Identify where and why you feel the need to wear it. Is it rooted in fear? Survival? External expectations?
2. Find Safe Spaces
• Seek out relationships where you feel supported and valued.
• Create communities where authenticity is encouraged, not penalized.
3. Practice Gentle Honesty
• Begin unmasking in small ways. Share a vulnerable truth with someone you trust.
• Be honest with yourself about your needs, desires, and fears.
4. Lean Into Love
• Approach love as a practice of courage. Allow yourself to receive love without conditions or expectations.
• Offer love to others in the same way, without demanding they fit a mold or wear a mask.
Restorative Writing
Take a moment to write about a mask you’ve worn. Who or what made you feel you needed it? What might it feel like to set it down? Where in your life can love meet you as you are?
Cited Works and Resources
James Baldwin’s profound observation, “Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within,” originates from his seminal work, The Fire Next Time (1963). This collection comprises two essays: “My Dungeon Shook: Letter to My Nephew on the One Hundredth Anniversary of the Emancipation” and “Down at the Cross: Letter from a Region in My Mind.” The quote is from the latter, where Baldwin delves into themes of identity, race, and the liberating power of love.
For those interested in exploring Baldwin’s insights on love, identity, and liberation further, the following resources offer valuable perspectives:
1. “The Fire Next Time” by James Baldwin
This pivotal work provides deep reflections on race and religion in America. It is available for reading on Archive.org or purchase HERE
2. “James Baldwin: The Price of the Ticket” (1989 Documentary)
This documentary offers an in-depth look into Baldwin’s life and philosophies, featuring interviews and archival footage. It is accessible on PBS.
3. “James Baldwin: The Price of the Ticket” (1989 PBS Documentary)
For a visual exploration of Baldwin’s life and work, this documentary is available on YouTube.
4. “The Fire Next Time” by James Baldwin
For those interested in reading Baldwin’s work, this edition is available on Open Library.
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This is a good reminder. And I sure love that book by Baldwin. Basically highlighted every paragraph. lol
I think it’s hard to unmask, especially a mask of competency, in an ableist world of capitalist standards. But I think you hit it on the nail when you pointed out finding a community that’s safe to be our authentic selves.
That’s where I’m at. Trying to find that safe community.
I try to honor my coping mechanisms (like masking… which for me as a neurodivergent person is something I’ve done almost my whole life) but also try to be unapologetically me in safe spaces. It’s hard. But like you said, recognizing the mask is definitely the first step.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and giving the historical context!
Looking forward to delving into your other posts!
Love this so beautiful xx